I’m not here to talk about the immense discussion this title could bring, in fact I wanted to pick up writing my little questionable blogs again, maybe even with the one or the other secret I feel comfortable sharing with you.
It’s been 6 months since I last wrote something officialy on this blog. I haven’t been really obsessed with any virtual games or facebook. Yes, I checked them out once in a while but my life was definetely not depending on any second I couldn’t follow my pals working their ass off for something that will never find recognition in the outside world. I know it’s just to have fun and relax after you’ve had a busy day or week and yes, I also know that mainly it’s because we love to push ourselves mentally when we have the opportunity to be by ourselves. This exact last reason made me realise that whatever it is that draws us into our obsession day after day, hour after hour, is the main mental goal. The mental goal is to resist. I can tell you, having a girlfriend that flies over half the globe just to visit you once in a while is definetely something that makes the process easier. But as I said, I had dropped the social media and gaming trap before it even started and I didn’t get caught because I had this thought of resistance. However, recently I feel strongly pulled closer to it again and the thought of the title would probably fit here very well. It’s some sort of rebirth that arises even when you thought you’ve lost it. So, I wonder what you will think of me being back on here typing?
How does this defintion melt on the tip of your tongue?
Love is irresistible. Love is adequate. Love is balanced. Love is flammable. Love is fusible. And love is also falling on a big fat mattress at the same time as your partner as you cuddle and fall asleep at whatever time of the day.
That’s really just one of the many that came to my thoughts whilst I’m in a stressful position in my love life and my previous replicate more of a wish.
Recently I’ve asked myself however though, how can we make love be refutable in itself? Science doesn’t have proof, religion doesn’t show us accuracy and nature gives us failure.
So what is love? What do we see in it? I most certainly figured that love isn’t quite love. But you can have a lot of different emotions whilst loving a lot of different people around you and still come back to the same founder of what love really is about in today’s world. One word – Obsession! Love is a drug, scientifically. Love is a vow, religiously. Love is caring, naturally. And you take them all on board and walk through life like you never did before, cause you’ve got the right one(s) around you!
A modern and constantly further developing world that is controlled by systems of virtuality leads to loss of what defines us most. We lose our stability of what we are. You cannot define yourself with what you posess but only with wishes of what you want due to faster changing matter that can change more rapidly than you expect them to do. Maybe you’ve never seen them before and you were shutting them off but sooner or later it won’t stay near you for you to hold and claim to be yours. In case you wonder what I am talking about, answer these following questions for yourself and you will know.
1. How much money do you have and where is it kept?
2. How many grams of love do you receive from your loved one? Or can it all be a lie?
3. How much work have you done in the past 10 years? Probably loads but where do you store all of that “paperwork”?
4. Where are you even now?
To make things easier for your own evaluation, here are my Answers! ____________________________________________________________________
1. Haha, loads of course (as a uni student) and most of it is kept as numbers in one big mess of digits, aslo called a chip card and server.
2. Love is much and I ask for many? 1 gram? Difficult or? Let’s answer this scientifically. If one mole of love is bigger or equal the size of this world (because then we should have world peace) and the avogadro’s constant states a number of 6.022140857(74)×1023 per mole and we currently have 7,328.671.197 (oops too late ^^) people then we should divide avogadro’s by the population and that gives us the result. It’s a big ass number of particles (and as I call them –> love bubbles <– you sit in) for just the two of you. So there’s loads you can share with each other.
3. Honestly, I probably think that 80% is stored up in clouds and servers/internet, files on the own computer or even just on other computers as it was part of a project.
4. Last not least, the good old internet uses the same amount of time from you as it just did to me to answer and read all these questions. Plus once again, it’s nothing to hold on to, forget about and move on. Right?
Who do we rely on when we grow old? Who do we wanna spend our lifetime with? Who can we call at any time of the day? Who is there for you when we have a bad day? Who on earth is the one I can ask for who? And, who will you can put your heart down on to know they will never break it? There must be a some-“who” out there but have you really found them yet?
We are all individuals, right?! Well, once you’ve approved to this question you will also agree to that we are all capable of believing, working and loving in different ways. Both ways now lead to something we all humans have in common however, and that is to be showing our capabilities of belief (in ways of faith and hope), work and love (aka passion). We want to succeed, be powerful and fearless sothat we cannot be harmed. But is that really what an individual thinks? Is that absolutely everything one single human desires. Possibly, yes! We as a population are a bunch of individuals, thriving for equality and rights for the common public whereas in reality we don’t want to be judged as the ordinary person. Let it be in court where you hope for a decrease of charges or even just on the streets where you almsot fall into your own grave when somebody’s deep, black eyes stare at you whilst throwing something in the garbage, missing and picking it up again to finally place it correctly. Or maybe as an opposing example when you sit in your next meeting trying to convince your business partners to invest time and money into your latest and greatest upcoming work design in order to achieve the highest outcome and reputation for yourself. You are extraordinary in every kind because we, as a human race, wouldn’t stand where we are now. It’s just like daily life though.
A constant wind blows away the little breezes.
We don’t see the extraordinary in each other as we are all so ordinary to be ordinarilly extraordinary.
Wouldn’t we all just enjoy having a machine that rather gives us all that time back we missed or at least extent it at some point in our life?! I know, we are all in this together and so is the TV in our daily routine. It’s ridiculous how much time we spent watching seasons of new released episodes, or the latest premier of a two year old movie that’s on the freeTV stations for the first time. We stay up for that, don’t we and it technically it’s us. Yes! Time eats us! Not only for the fact that we wake up with dark circles around the eyes and have a bad day the night after because of the lack of sleep. No, there is far more to it, like the daily decisions we make, let them be big or small, the conversations we share, the presentations in front of a crowd that makes us cry for not finding the right words or many more examples that you can think of yourself. It all relates back to the little time sucker that controls us and who’s controlling that, have a thought yourself and comment if you like! My decision’s clear because who enforces the working hours and controls media with their laws? Right mother state?
Where is it? Where can I find it? More of the things every human needs. Yes, pressure I’m talking about. [Sarcasm so far] We all live in a modern world where pressure of any kind rests on our shoulders and we need to deal with consequences and failure we stand up for with our responsibility. It’s hard to accept that we shift that pressure around though but it never leads back up to the leaders in charge who decide on laws, changes, whatsoever that only benefits them as well as accept changes which aren’t visible in their eyes. They release the pressure but never have to deal with the chance of back fired guns. Once you’re on top you can burst it all out! Just like a cannon, and it’s wreckless!
When you walk down the aisle on a train and the crowd of people in the seats stare at you whilst guarding their bags next to them in their most clingy and possessive way in order to defend their space. It’s almost like you are a toxic criminal!
What do we know when we can’t even understand the apparent simplicity of our emotions? We have them but how are they controllable? Fear, anger, happiness, laughter, embarrasment, shame,… Where do they come from and how on earth is it even plausible to agree to their general description of some professors who go through a daily rollercoaster of feelings themselves? Everyone’s biased! ,even the judges who take on decisions from the way they woke up in the morning! And yes, we are only capable of distinguishing from a maximum amount of 32 different kinds of emotions at once. So what does that tell us?! We came that far that we are all individuals so why not differntiate our daily emotions into 6.8 billion ones. Let’s take a guess the next time we see someone on the street how they feel exactly?! And let’s take a guess how well anyone of us judges the strangers we pass who we cannot simply relate to.
We all end up at the state where we toss and believe in the slower moving coin that tumbles and swirls onto OUR right side – hopefully. Unfortunately we cannot control the big one that decides upon our life and we neither can keep the failure within us forever. It goes viral until we defeat it with death.
“once i was told, now there is meaning”